Families of the Fallen • Copyright 2011

Dos and Dont's

There aren’t any magic words to fix the pain, so don’t try to find them.

Don’t minimize the pain.

Don’t expect the grieving person to reach out to you.

It’s good to say the name of the deceased.

Don’t say things like: “Time heals all wounds” or “At least they’re with the Lord“ or “Christians shouldn’t grieve” or “In time you’ll get over it.”

Do remind them, gently, to take care of themselves.

Don’t judge.

Share a meal.

Trust them if they say they want to be alone.

Don’t insist that the only way to get over it is to…

Don’t take their grief away, or tell them you know exactly how they feel. They want their grief to be their own.

Do let them tell stories about their loved one. Tell stories to them about their loved one. Laugh.

Let them cry, sob, be silent or scream; it’s normal.

Be there. Just, be there.